"Yesterday, I was clever, so I wanted to changed the world.
Today, I am wise so I am changing myself."
Where I started
My life has changed more in the past 3 years than it has in 10 years prior. It went from not moving much to moving like a frog jumps from lily pad to lily pad. At one time, that would have scared the shit out of me. Now, I enjoy it. So, I'll tell you how I embraced change even when I feared it.
Most of my life, I planned ahead years. When I was 13, I decided I was going to be a lawyer. At the time, no one was pressuring me to decide on what I was going to do with the rest of my life, but I chose anyway.
Since then, that's how I operate. Make a decision. Get it done. Anything less is a failure.
To unpack that way of thinking, I examine my irrational fear of escalators when I was really little. Whoever I was with had to hold my hand before I got on them. One time, I had one foot on it, and it moved too fast. My leg stretched forward, and it scared the hell out of me. I think I thought it would suck me under it.
That applies to how I made decisions in my life because I wouldn't move until I knew my footing was secure. If it wasn't, I was afraid of being sucked under into an abyss of failure.
By the time I was 7 or 8, I had gotten over my fear of escalators. I somehow realized that if I put my foot down and kept moving, I wouldn't fall.
It took me time to apply that principle to other aspects of my life.
Where I am
About 5 years ago, I was dissatisfied with my job. The most joyful aspects of it started to irritate me. Over fifteen years into my career, I was established, growing in my craft, and secure in my position. I had the secure footing I always thought I needed.
Still, I wasn't satisfied. I knew I had to make a change. I proved to myself multiple times I can make a go of it no matter what twists and turns life takes. Since I knew that, the idea of change empowered me rather than stifled me.
So I changed my job and moved out of state.
Since then, I have moved 3 times in 3 years. I made the most recent move a few weeks ago. I love this new chapter of my life. I'm embracing the newness, and it's making my experience better.
Where I'm going
Now, when I make a decision, and, instead of rushing to an outcome, to "get it done," I let life flow. It will lead me to wherever I need to go and provide me with whatever I need.
It took me some time to catch up to my 8-year-old self. I know now, if I take a step forward and keep moving, life won't let me fall.
Until next time... look behind and beyond the veil...
Sameena K. Mughal, Author, Freelance Writer